I cringe every time I hear it. A man or a woman states: “I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve lost myself.” It is the reason they give for why they left their marriage and family. They have left to find themselves once again. It’s not that I don’t understand what they are talking […]
It’s a question that is often posed when I teach on conflict resolution. In truth, we all have the tendency to think WE are! Recently a friend and I were discussing a matter and I felt myself getting tense. He wasn’t getting it! I knew what I had to say was “right.” The problem was […]
Most people don’t like conflict, but it doesn’t have to be all bad. In fact, there is much good that can come out of conflict if you know a healthy process to work through it like PLEDGEtalk and keep the following three opportunities in mind: 1. Conflict is an opportunity to grow in your understanding […]
Twice recently I have been asked: “What do you do when your spouse won’t talk?” Good question. No doubt most all of us have faced that at some time or another. We want connection with others. Two-way connection. But what about when your child or teenager isn’t talking? Or a friend suddenly stops talking? What […]
You’ve done it, I’ve done it, and you’ve had someone do it to you. They used ALWAYS or NEVER. It’s never a good experience when someone uses those words as they point their finger at you in anger. It always feels unfair and wrong when they do. We think, they should never use those words like […]
You and I both learned an important life lesson at a very early age: take turns. If you have children you teach it all the time. One is playing with a toy, when another child comes along and grabs it because he wants to play with it. The first child cries or reacts in anger […]
I have been doing a lot of thinking about anger lately. Maybe it’s because of how often I wrestle with the emotion myself. I also see it frequently in the couples I counsel, as well as in people’s lives in general. And finally, I am sure it is because of hearing our son say on […]
It would be a dream job for anyone to have a truly supportive boss, and co-workers where everyone gets along. So often however, that kind of reverie isn’t a reality. More often it is just the opposite. Take Michael for instance, who found himself increasingly angry at his boss, though unsure as to why. […]
“It’s not natural…it doesn’t feel authentic.” That’s the kind of remark I hear people say about PLEDGEtalk every once in awhile. And I agree…but only sort of. Here’s what I mean: Most conversations whether they are superficial in nature, serious in content, or conflict driven, could be described as nothing more than volleying. In lighter […]
A couple weeks back Zerrin and I were in Oshkosh, Wisconsin teaching PLEDGEtalk at Lifest. As I began, I told everyone that what they were about to hear wouldn’t be new. In fact once they heard the PLEDGEtalk principles for healthy communication, they would immediately recognize that what I was saying was true. Truths we […]
