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Missed Flight – Rising Emotions and the Need to Pause!

While flying back from NYC this past weekend, we hit a snag.

Our plane from LaGuardia left 90 minutes late, and it looked like we were going to miss our connecting flight in Dallas to take us back to Wichita. Indeed, when we landed in Dallas, we had 15 minutes to get to our next gate. We sprinted at least 1/2 mile through the airport only to find a sign at our gate telling us the boarding had been completed.

​I was out of breath, in disbelief, and could feel anger growing inside of me. I didn’t know what to do. No one was around to ask for help. We were stuck. I didn’t know what to do. We had never missed a flight before. It was late. We needed to get back to Wichita. Zerrin had school to teach the next day. I had clients to see. But the plane was gone!

​Fortunately, that wasn’t the end of the story. We actually did get home that night. It turns out we were off on our time with setting clocks back over the weekend and criss-crossing time zones from Wichita to New York and back again.

​When we realized what had happened and heard our plane home had actually been changed to another gate, feelings of frustration over our mistake were now added to my overwhelm and shame, too.

​I was shut down.

​I was glad in this case, my negative emotions weren’t towards my wife (though other times they are.) Still, it created distance between us.

​It took the next couple of hours, a late night’s sleep, and some time in the morning with an open Bible for me to finally process my anger, my frustration, and my shame. I was thankful to be able to pull up out of my personal nose-dive and land safely on my feet once again, ready to start my day in a better frame of mind.

​But then…

Over the next 24 hours, we found out that a one-year-old niece of mine had been attacked by a dog, a friend’s financial security was severely threatened, another friend shared about a sister dying, and I was back counseling with couples whose marriages were falling apart!

​Whew!

​I thought to myself, “How many people know what to do when life dishes them a lemon?”

​I know, I know the saying – you turn it into lemonade. But how exactly do we do that?

​The complete answer is too long for a simple email or blog such as this. But it starts with the idea once again of PAUSING – the first step of PLEDGE. We must take time to quiet our souls, reflect, and listen to the whisper of God leading us to truth. For me, that also meant sitting down for a bit with my Bible in hand. It claims to offer direction and help in life. It did just that for me! I “heard” the quiet voice of God, which enabled me to understand my emotions, and I got back on track.

​I want you to be able to do the same!

I will be sharing more in the next several weeks about a project we have been working on behind the scenes that we are pretty excited about. It’s for those of you who want more. You have followed me long enough to know there is real value in PLEDGEtalk and the related materials we have shared, but you have questions. You’ve gotten stuck. You need some kind of hands-on help.

​It’s coming.

​Watch for more!

​Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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A New Way to Relate – the PLEDGEtalk Table

Stay at the Table

Recently, while counseling a husband and wife, I used an illustration I had never shared before — and it really hit home.

I told them that coming together to connect relationally is a lot like sitting down at a table. One person brings up a topic — something they’ve been thinking about or feeling. Sometimes it’s lighthearted. Other times, it’s heavy — maybe something that’s been simmering under the surface for a while.

They place that concern on the table, like a plate of food, and wait.

Unfortunately, in most relationships, they don’t have to wait long before the person across the table pushes the plate right back.

“That’s not true.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“That’s not even the real issue.”

Or they push it aside altogether, saying something like,

“That’s not what we should be talking about. This is the problem.”

​And just like that, they slide their own plate onto the table instead. What began as an invitation to connect becomes a competition of plates — a back-and-forth of who’s right, who’s wrong, and whose story gets to stay on the table.

​The tragedy is that when we do this, we miss the very reason the table exists in the first place. The table isn’t for proving who’s right. The table is a place to connect by coming to understand one another.

​What Healthy Couples Do Differently

In a healthy and helpful PLEDGEtalk conversation, something very different happens.

​When one person “serves up” an issue, the other doesn’t shove it back or push it aside. Instead, they take a good look at it. They turn the plate around to see it from different angles.

​They might say things like:

  • “Help me understand what you mean.”
  • “Tell me more about how this feels to you.”
  • “What else might be on this plate that I should see?”

​In other words, they get curious instead of defensive.

​They don’t pick up their own dish until they’ve fully understood the one that was served to them. In fact, they might even ask,

“Is there anything else that needs to be dished up — anything we haven’t talked about yet?”

​Only after they’ve really listened, understood, and echoed does the table turn — naturally and respectfully — to their own thoughts or perspective.

​The PLEDGEtalk Table

That’s what PLEDGEtalk is all about:

  • Pause before reacting.
  • Listen to understand.
  • Echo what you’ve heard.
  • Disarm defensiveness by validating feelings.
  • Give space for both stories to be fully heard.
  • Engage together toward resolution.

When both people learn to stay at the table — not just to win but to win together — something sacred happens. Understanding grows. Hearts soften. And what once felt like conflict begins to taste like connection.

Try This

​The next time your spouse “dishes something up,” try this simple shift:
Don’t push it back. Don’t push it aside. Stay at the table.

​Turn the plate. Look at it from their side. Ask questions. Listen deeply.

​Because at the end of the day, love isn’t about winning the argument — it’s about staying at the table long enough to truly understand what’s being served.

​Mark Oelze

Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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The World’s Most Powerful Medicine

The World’s Most Powerful Medicine

I was preparing a post for this week when I happened upon the following post on Facebook. I wanted to share it with you as I thought of how each of us is seeking to love well in the way we communicate. It’s about giving someone time to speak – as much time as needed – while you notice them and listen. This is a gift so rarely offered, and yet so powerful when it is. Read the following and take some time to reflect on how well you listen to others!

Taylor Sophie/NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC

A Facebook post… September 29, 2025

I know the exact pressure it takes to crack a rib during CPR. But last Tuesday, I learned a patient’s silence can break a doctor’s soul

His name was David Chen, but on my screen, he was “Male, 82, Congestive Heart Failure, Room 402.” I spent seven minutes with him that morning. Seven minutes to check his vitals, listen to the fluid in his lungs, adjust his diuretics, and type 24 required data points into his Electronic Health Record. He tried to tell me something, gesturing toward a faded photo on his nightstand. I nodded, said “we’ll talk later,” and moved on. There was no billing code for “talk later.

“Mr. Chen died that afternoon. As a nurse quietly cleared his belongings, she handed me the photo. It was him as a young man, beaming, his arm around a woman, standing before a small grocery store with “CHEN’S MARKET” painted on the window.

​The realization hit me like a physical blow. I knew his ejection fraction and his creatinine levels. I knew his insurance provider and his allergy to penicillin. But I didn’t know his wife’s name or that he had built a life from nothing with his own two hands. I hadn’t treated David Chen. I had managed the decline of a failing organ system. And in the sterile efficiency of it all, I had lost a piece of myself.

The next day, I bought a small, black Moleskine notebook. It felt like an act of rebellion.

My first patient was Eleanor Gable, a frail woman lost in a sea of white bedsheets, diagnosed with pneumonia. I did my exam, updated her chart, and just as I was about to leave, I paused. I turned back from the door.

“Mrs. Gable,” I said, my voice feeling strange. “Tell me one thing about yourself that’s not in this file.

“Her tired eyes widened in surprise. A faint smile touched her lips. “I was a second-grade teacher,” she whispered. “The best sound in the world… is the silence that comes just after a child finally reads a sentence on their own.

“I wrote it down in my notebook. Eleanor Gable: Taught children how to read.

I kept doing it. My little black book began to fill with ghosts of lives lived.

Frank Miller: Drove a yellow cab in New York for 40 years.

Maria Flores: Her mole recipe won the state fair in Texas, three years running.

Sam Jones: Proposed to his wife on the Kiss Cam at a Dodgers game.

Something began to change. The burnout, that heavy, gray cloak I’d been wearing for years, started to feel a little lighter. Before entering a room, I’d glance at my notebook. I wasn’t walking in to see the “acute pancreatitis in 207.” I was walking in to see Frank, who probably had a million stories about the city. My patients felt it too. They’d sit up a little straighter. A light would flicker back in their eyes. They felt seen.

The real test came with Leo. He was 22, angry, and refusing dialysis for a condition he’d brought on himself. He was a “difficult patient,” a label that in hospital-speak means “we’ve given up.” The team was frustrated.

I walked into his room and sat down, leaving my tablet outside. We sat in silence for a full minute. I didn’t look at his monitors. I looked at the intricate drawings covering his arms.

“Who’s your artist?” I asked.

He scoffed. “Did ’em myself.”

“They’re good,” I said. “This one… it looks like a blueprint.”For the first time, his gaze lost its hard edge.

“Wanted to be an architect,” he muttered, “before… all this.

“We talked for twenty minutes about buildings, about lines, about creating something permanent. We didn’t mention his kidneys once. When I stood up to leave, he said, so quietly I almost missed it, “Okay. We can try the dialysis tomorrow.

“Later that night, I opened my Moleskine. I wrote: Leo Vance: Designs cities on paper.

The system I work in is designed to document disease with thousands of data points. It logs every cough, every pill, every lab value. It tells the story of how a body breaks down.

My little black book tells a different story. It tells the story of why a life mattered.

We are taught to practice medicine with data, but we heal with humanity. And in a world drowning in information, a single sentence that says, “I see you,” isn’t just a kind gesture​

It’s the most powerful medicine we have.

______________________________

Make time to notice and listen to someone you love this weekend, and then again, to even a stranger. You will never know the difference you might make in their life!

Mark Oelze

Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

​

*Article taken from Taylor Sophie/National Geographic on Facebook. CLICK HERE for the exact link.

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Team Talk for Better Relationships

A Lesson in Teamwork—From My Driveway

Outside my office window today, I watched a six-man crew pour a new driveway at our house. It was remarkable to see how well they worked together as a team. No one complained. They switched roles easily, picking up whatever tool or task was needed in the moment. They talked, they laughed, they worked hard—and they got the job done beautifully.

That got me thinking…

What if those of us who are married—or part of a family—took the same approach? What if it wasn’t about me or my spouse, but about us? What if we truly saw ourselves as a team on a mission? We wouldn’t complain. We’d switch roles as needed, stepping in to handle whatever task keeps things moving. We’d talk, make it fun, laugh together. And we’d work hard at being good teammates.

The result? A beautiful picture of what marriage can be.

And what if we brought that same mindset into PLEDGEtalk and our daily relationships? For instance, someone could step in and say:

  • PAUSE: “Can we stop for a moment? The way we’re talking right now isn’t good for us. Let’s take a break, then come back ready to communicate as teammates.”

  • LISTEN: “I sense something’s going on in you—or between us. I’d like to really listen so I can understand.”

  • ECHO: “You just said a lot. Let me echo it back to make sure I’ve got it right.”

  • DISARM: “Thank you for sharing that. I see where you’re coming from. That makes sense.”

  • GIVE: “I appreciate hearing your view. Would you be okay if I share mine too, so we both understand and can work toward the best outcome as a team?”

  • ENGAGE: “Can we agree to use PLEDGEtalk as our regular way of enhancing communication—as teammates?”

Here’s the point: the person who chooses to step into dialogue with PLEDGEtalk strengthens the team. The one who knows what to do but stays silent? That person contributes to the team’s breakdown.

So, when conflict comes your way this weekend—which kind of teammate will you be?

—Mark Oelze
Author & Creator of PLEDGEtalk
Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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Dialogue or Debate?

Dialogue or Debate?

Is One Better Than the Other?

Simply put, it depends on your purpose.

Think of a continuum from 1 to 10. On the end with the “1” is Dialogue. On the other end, with the “10”, is Debate. We all fall somewhere along that line when we disagree and try to make a point. Most of us shift positions on that continuum depending on the conversation. Neither form of communication is inherently wrong; they are just different.

​Where We Naturally Land

Most of my time in communication is spent on the dialogue end—probably between a 2 and 4. Charlie Kirk, by contrast, was primarily a debater. I would rate him as moving between 6 and 9 on the continuum most of the time.

In my profession, I’ve sought to help couples communicate so both sides feel fully heard and understood, with the hope of resolving conflict and creating deeper connection. The majority of couples come to my office in “debate” mode, trying not only to make their case but also to convince me they are right and the other is wrong. Needless to say, this never goes well – and I never use the word ‘never!’ 🥴 I coach them to shift into healthy dialogue instead. That’s what PLEDGEtalk is built on—a constructive method of dialogue.

​Dialogue vs. Debate in Effectiveness

In one-to-one conversations, my experience is that dialogue is more effective than debate. By effective, I mean it increases the chances that both sides will be heard and understood, and it fosters connection—even when full agreement isn’t reached.

Debate, on the other hand, often seeks to win an argument not only with the other person but with an audience listening in. Charlie excelled at this. He brought convictions about truth, country, marriage and family, and faith in Jesus Christ into the public square with passion and impacted thousands—millions, in fact—who were listening.

​The Guiding Principle: Love

Ultimately, what guides whether we lean toward dialogue or debate should be our call to love.

But when it comes to communication, what does love look like?

Love in Dialogue

In dialogue, the one who loves seeks first not to be understood, but to understand. Listening isn’t the only component of healthy dialogue, but it’s far more important than many realize. To love well is to enter another’s world, hear their story, walk alongside them, and connect.

Jesus modeled this perfectly. He left heaven to enter our broken world, experiencing life from conception in a womb to death in a tomb.

Love in Debate

In debate, love can be harder to see—but it is present when the intent is to speak truth for the other’s good. Love here is less about listening and more about declaring truth. Charlie Kirk embodied this. And again, Jesus is the ultimate example.

During the final years of His ministry, Jesus frequently taught and debated truth. He did this not to win arguments, but because He knew the brokenness in people’s hearts and where it would lead if uncorrected. Out of love, He spoke truth plainly, pointing out error and offering the way to fullness of life.

​None of Us Does It Perfectly

Did Charlie always debate perfectly? No. There were times I wished he would have moved closer to the dialogue side.

Have I always loved perfectly in dialogue? No. There are times I wish I would take courage and move more towards the debate side of the continuum, speaking the truth more boldly.

We are all still in process, hopefully all seeking to love well in the way we communicate. That’s the bottom line of my passion for teaching PLEDGEtalk!

Thank you for being on this journey with me. I welcome any and all thoughts!

Mark Oelze​
Author / Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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Are You Kind?

Kindness

When was the last time you truly experienced kindness? And what effect did it have on you?

I experience being “kinded” (my word for the experience of someone being kind to me) regularly through my wife. Just last night, she listened with genuine understanding—even when it meant her admitting some fault in a conflict we had.

She “kinded” me again when she offered to get me water, helped with a task without a single complaint, and came alongside me to support my endeavors. She kinds me every day when she…

  • looks at me when I speak

  • doesn’t interrupt

  • smiles when she sees me

  • teams with me in the work of our home, inside and out

  • leaves post-it notes of thanks or encouragement

  • prays with me and for me

  • listens to my endless new thoughts about life

  • affirms my work and my worth

  • …and more

What’s the effect? I am drawn to her. I feel safe with her. My love deepens, and I want to return the gift by showing kindness to her in the same ways.

How about you? Do you intentionally practice kindness? We all long for it and appreciate it when others extend it. Kindness sits at the very core of the PLEDGEtalk way of communicating—even outside of conflict. To pause and give others time to share what’s on their mind is kind. To listen well, to echo back, and to validate someone’s thoughts, ideas, or concerns is an act of kindness.

Today, practice kindness—with your spouse, your child, a friend, a coworker, or even a stranger you cross paths with. Notice the effect. You’ll brighten their day—and you’ll brighten your own in the process.

—
Mark Oelze
Author & Creator of PLEDGEtalk
Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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Mourning Charlie Kirk – Some Personal Reflections

Mourning Charlie Kirk — A Candle in the Darkness

Like many around the world, I was stunned when I heard the news of the shooting and death of Charlie Kirk. Millions are mourning his loss. And, shockingly, some seem not just indifferent—but even celebratory.

I’ve found myself reflecting on what to think… and what to say.

Regardless of where one stands politically or spiritually, I want to share a few thoughts I’ve had about Charlie:

  • He was profoundly courageous.
  • He believed in universal, absolute truths.
  • He addressed how these truths, or the lack thereof, affect culture, country, and life.
  • He stood for those truths often in hostile environments.
  • He deeply loved his wife and children.
  • He was grateful to be forgiven and loved by Jesus Christ—despite his own brokenness.
  • He wanted others to experience that same forgiveness and love in their own brokenness.
  • He firmly believed that if people truly understood the love of Christ, they would discover Jesus to be “the Way, the Truth, and the Life,” just as He claimed.

Charlie believed, for example:

  • The more fully we grasp the WAY Christ has loved all humanity, the more racism would be dismantled at every level.
  • As we grow in our understanding of Christ’s TRUTH about His intentional creation of male and female, we begin to treat one another with deeper reverence and receive our sexuality as a sacred gift—not a personal construct.
  • The closer we experience LIFE with Jesus and follow Him, the more we realize that nothing else truly and lastingly satisfies—not money, sex, or changing one’s sex, not alcohol, drugs, pornography, fame, or fortune.

I have been sobered, deeply saddened, and stirred.

Purportedly, St. Francis of Assisi once said:

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”

Thank you Charlie!

However many days God grants me on this earth, I aim to be one of those candles. I want to shine the light of Christ—to help others find Jesus as the Way to the Father in Heaven, who embodies all Truth and is the source of everlasting Life.

Mark Oelze Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

P.S. Debate or dialogue? Charlie was big into debate. I am passionate about dialogue. I have come to believe both have their place—and I’ll share more on that in a future post.

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Name Your Feelings, Lead Your Life!

Name It to Tame It: The Simple Secret to Calmer Conversations

Ever had a conversation with your spouse (or anyone close to you) that went south fast?
One minute you’re talking, the next your blood pressure’s climbing, and words are flying that you wish you could take back.

Here’s a simple, science-backed tool that can stop that downward spiral: Pause. Name it. Tame it.

Step 1: Pause for 90 Seconds

In my last post, HERE, I shared how hitting the “pause button” for just 90 seconds when you feel a strong emotion gives your body time to cool off. Those 90 seconds allow the adrenaline surge to fade so your brain can think clearly again.

Think of it as a reset button for your mind.

Step 2: Name What You Feel

Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and co-author of The Whole-Brain Child, coined the phrase “name it to tame it.” His research shows that labeling your emotions—whether you’re a child or an adult—can actually calm the brain’s fight-or-flight response.

When you name your emotion, you begin to tame it.
It’s not magic—it’s neuroscience.

Why Naming Works

When you name your emotion, you start understanding it.
That understanding begins to strip away its power over you.

Example:​
​Your spouse interrupts you mid-sentence. You feel your shoulders tense. You blurt something sharp that you regret. You’re left wondering, Why did I react like that?

Later, you replay the moment. You realize they spoke out of turn. They didn’t let you finish. They assumed they knew your point and cut you off, saying you were wrong. What were you feeling?
Maybe it was irritation. Or frustration. Or just plain anger.
By giving it a name, you connect the dots between what happened and how you reacted.

The Marriage Superpower

This “naming” habit gives you the power to:

  • Understand why you’re feeling what you feel, and respond the way you do.
  • Reduce emotional overwhelm.
  • Choose a better response next time.

The result? Less regret. More connection.

Weekend Challenge:

Next time emotions run high:

  1. Pause & breathe – Give yourself those 90 seconds.
  2. Name it – Choose the word that best describes your emotion(s).
  3. And if you choose, share it – Tell your spouse or friend, “I’m feeling frustrated,” instead of launching into attack mode.

The more you practice, the easier it gets—and the calmer your conversations will become.

💡 Remember: Strong marriages aren’t built by avoiding emotion. They’re built by handling emotion well!​

To help, I am including a diagram that lists the names of various emotions you might feel:

Name Your Feelings, Lead Your Life!

In my next posts, we will further discuss a course of action for what to do after we feel and name our emotions.

That’s all for now!

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com

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Why Make Room for THIS during Christmas!

Christmas 2023:  There is No Room!

Every year around this time, during the Christmas season, I like to reread The Story with a fresh perspective. It’s amazing how something new always jumps out at me. This year was no different.

A few weeks ago, at church, our pastor was speaking on the Christmas story, and something really stood out to me. Joseph and Mary were heading into Bethlehem, and Mary was about to give birth. They were desperate for a place to stay, but there was no room. The man at the door said, “Sorry, no room.” As Pastor Bob read that again, it hit me. This man was essentially saying that there was no room for God.

The concept of not having room for God is profound. Jesus, whose name is Emmanuel, which means “God with us,” was being rejected. This man unknowingly symbolized the rejection of God, the creator of everything. It made me realize how often we don’t make room for God in our lives. It’s incredible; it just was stirring me. Oh, my word, oh, my word, no room for God, think about that. He left and he knocked on another door, the same response. Another door, same response, until finally, they said, “There’s a place out there in the barn, we’ll put God out there.” It’s overwhelming when you stop to think about that, there’s no room for him here, we can put him out there.

For several weeks now, I’ve been pondering that and thinking about how that applies even to my own life. I am wondering how it applies to all of our lives. How often do we say, do I say, there’s no room right now? There’s no room, I’m too busy in my life. I don’t have room for God. I don’t have the energy. There’s no room for God. I don’t have any interest. My interest is in too many other things. I’m not interested in Jesus, in Emmanuel, in God. There’s no room for him in my life. Or how often do we say there’s no room for him in our marriage? There’s too much going on, too many other things we’re interested in, too many things we have to make happen, and we don’t have any room.

There’s another verse that also came to mind. The verse is found in the Gospel of Luke, that’s the book with the longest story of Joseph and Mary, the Christmas story. But there’s another book of the Bible, at the very end of the Bible, the Book of Revelation, where there’s a verse that says in Revelation 3:20, “Hey! Whoa!” Jesus is saying this. The translation we read uses the word ‘behold” but it means “Hey!!!” He is trying to get our attention. Jesus is like, he’s saying, “I’m here.” And perhaps he’s even shouting, “I’m standing at the door, I’m knocking.” This is the second most stunning thing! The first most stunning thing in the Luke story is Joseph saying, “We have this God here,” and the guy at the Inn says, “No room.” Now God himself is knocking on our door, your door, my door. And he’s saying, “I’m out here, I want in.” Think about that again, the God of the universe, the creator of all things is saying to us, “I want in.” But he’s a gentleman, he’s not forcing his way in, but he’s knocking and he wants in. And then it says he wants in, and for everybody that opens the door to God, to Jesus, he says, ‘I’m going to come in,’ and he says, ‘we’re going to have dinner together.” It gives the idea that we’re going to hang out around the table. We’re going to have a wonderful time, and a friendship and a relationship that gets established with us and God! He wants in – that’s the most amazing part!

This year, as we consider once again the Christmas story, every one of us has the choice to keep the door closed and say no room in my life. In my time, in my interest, in my energy, there’s no room. Or we can say, “Oh yes, please, I can’t believe it! I’m stunned that you’re even knocking on my door. I’m overwhelmed by the idea that you’re even knocking.” 

The God of the universe is knocking at our door. He wants in. And I just want to say to you, during this Christmas season let’s make room for God, let’s make room for Jesus.

Merry Christmas,

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

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Joy and Marriage – How do you keep a marriage healthy for life?

Further Thoughts on the Joy of the Dance in Marriage For Life…

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

A dance that brings joy – married for Life. It’s what we all want. My parents are in their 68th year. It’s not a perfect marriage, but I still see those moments when Mom – with love in her eyes – reaches out to touch Dad to show him she is there and she cares. And I see Dad bringing home flowers sometimes for no reason at all except that he cares too for Mom.

How do we get there? How do we get to the end of life still holding each other’s hands and thanking God for the gift He gave us in each other?

It takes work!

We must:

  • forgive countless times
  • seek to serve rather than to be served
  • be patient – like we hope the other is patient with us
  • show kindness every day, in every way possible
  • remember why we first so appreciated each other
  • take time to give time to enjoy time to make the best of time
  • expect conflict, prepare for when conflict will occur, and commit to resolving conflict as soon as it emerges
  • seek help from outside sources when we can’t figure it out ourselves
  • listen without interruption, staying focused as you do
  • be each other’s greatest cheerleader
  • encourage each other day after day
  • DECIDE NOW how important your spouse is to you. If she or he really matters, THEN commit to becoming a life-long learner about marriage.
  • And my list could go on and on and on.

In short, we must love the other as we once promised we would. I know it is hard. Let me say that again. I KNOW it is hard! I have been so angry at my wife sometimes and she me – but we kept returning to love. We have no other option.

In one of the bullet points above,  I mentioned becoming a life-long learner about marriage. Here are some ways to do that:

Read one book on marriage every 3 – 6 months. Here are my top four books on marriage and relationships:

Attend a marriage retreat/conference in 2024. Here is one I HIGHLY recommend:  A Weekend to Remember, put on by Family Life Ministries. Zerrin and I have been and loved it. You can go HERE to find out the nearest one to you and all the available dates. When you register, look for the box that says “Group Name” and put in:  Madlyinlove. That will get you a discount.

For 2024, FamilyLife will offer a Half-Off promotion during a Black Friday promo on November 17-22, and again on January 3-22, 2024. These are the best times for couples to get the best price offered. There are three area conferences happening on Valentine’s weekend next year, February 9-11 – a great way to celebrate and invest in your marriage! Again, when you register, put MadlyInLove in the Group Name box. With this special promotion, you may not get a further discount, but it helps us. For every five couples that use this group name, we get to give away a free Weekend.

REMEMBER – it takes work to learn the dance!  But it is the best kind of work!

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

Give me a heads up below if you will get a book above or attend The Weekend To Remember Marriage Conference!

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