I Get Defensive Too! Ugh.

I was cleaning the house, getting it ready for some new friends to come over, when my wife walked in and said, “Mark, you haven’t taken care of your piles on the bar yet!”

Before I even had time to think, out came the words: “I took care of some of them.”
And what ran through my mind next was an accusation ready to fly: “Well, you haven’t put away your ironing board either!”

Yep—I get defensive too. Ugh.

What struck me was how quickly it happened. No pause. No thought. Just defense. The real question was: what would I do next? What would YOU do next?

I PAUSED.

And I reminded myself—sometimes not so gently—that I don’t always live out what I preach.

So I went back to the PLEDGE. I said, “Hun, you sound frustrated. Tell me what you’re thinking…”—an intentional effort to understand her by replaying her words in my mind.

From there, the conversation turned. I listened more. I echoed back what I heard. And I disarmed the tension by validating her perspective.

It’s THAT easy to fall off the wagon—and THAT easy to climb back on.

This week, when you find yourself slipping, practice getting back on the PLEDGEtalk wagon. Then reply and let me know how it goes!

—Mark Oelze
Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk