Comments on: When I Lost My SELF in Marriage

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 04:19:33 +0000

In reply to Evan.

Thanks Evan – a very good word. I totally agree – my thoughts easily apply on some level to ALL our relationships, especially where we are caring for others at any level.

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 17 Oct 2016 04:17:19 +0000

In reply to Marcia Downing.

Thank you Marcia. I will be the first to agree that change is hard – at least most of the time it seems. When we look at our other options and see they are no better or even worse, it often provides the encouragement we need to work at changing. And for those who follow Christ and really believe – yes all things are possible!

By: Evan

Evan — Sun, 16 Oct 2016 03:00:43 +0000

Thanks Mark. In being a caregiver, I have frequently found myself saying “I’ve lost sight of who I wanted to be.” I think your offered perspective is valid not only for marriages but also in other arenas where God would have us be His Tangible Presence.

By: Marcia Downing

Marcia Downing — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 17:46:03 +0000

It is incredibly hard work to change one’s patterns of relating. As a woman, I value my adaptability and desire to be liked and to be pleasing. Add teaching about male headship, and the scenario of loss of self becomes predictable. Graceful change is miraculously possible because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. When I told a counselor how hard this is, she said, “Would you tell your child it was OK not to do something because it was hard?” Thank you for your wise encouragement to all of us.

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 14:37:33 +0000

In reply to Ben Langhofer. Thanks Ben. It would be an interesting debate for sure! And keep working on that marriage plan!!

By: Ben Langhofer

Ben Langhofer — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 14:31:07 +0000

Very well written my friend!!! i love it!!! I would love to see you debate this topic with a well known humanist psychologist who advocates for “what feels right”!!! I love you brother!!! If I were married or in a relationship this would have been hugely inspiring. It still is…it’s merely going in my marriage plan. Thank you thank you thank you for all you do!!!