Here’s a very simple exercise:

1. Take five minutes to write down the names of as many people as you can throughout your life, who have spoken to you with encouraging words (and upbeat tones) – supportive, helpful, positive, or life-giving words. Just write their names, one after another until you run out of time or can’t think of anyone else.
2. Now take five minutes and write down the names of as many people as you can throughout your life who have spoken discouraging words (and/or negative tones) – hurtful, negative, even death words over you. Again, just write their names, one after another until you run out of time or can’t think of anyone else.

Now – let’s make some observations:

First, looking at your lists above, who have you enjoyed being around more throughout your life? This is really a no-brainer. It easily and quickly shows the impact of words!

Second, do a numbers comparison. If you were to redo the above exercise looking at just the people currently in your life who are positive or negative, how do the numbers balance out? Are there more positive people in your life than negative? That is great and certainly helps with one’s own emotional wherewithal.

Are there more negative people than positive? It stands to reason, you would be good to find some more positive people in your life. I have several good friends and some family members I make extra effort to be around because of who they are and the life-giving words and actions they give to others.

It also might be good to examine the relationships you have with the negative people in your life. Some are unavoidable such as family or people you work around. What can you do with these to bring a more positive experience into the relationship?  OR using the principles of TALK, how could you dialogue with them about the experience you and no doubt others have when they are around them – with the hope of bringing growth and greater connection?

Then there may also be those around you who need not be a part of your close circle, if at all. Think of the Proverbs:

• “Make no friendship with a man given to anger…”  22:24
• “A gossip goes around telling secrets so don’t hang around chatterers.” 20:19
• “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.”  I Cor 15:33

Or quotes:

• “Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company.” George Washington
• “Nothing perhaps affects man’s character more than the company he keeps.” J. C. Ryle

THIRD and lastly – how do people view you? This is a tough one. I fear sometimes people see me as too intense. Or too much of a glass-half-empty person. Or one who complains or is easily frustrated. I see these things in myself enough that it causes me to practice smiling more in the mirror (yes I actually practice this sometimes!) It is what often drives me to take time away from the stresses in life so I can breathe more easily, reflect, pray, and meditate on truths from reading the Bible. And I regularly work at and deliberately choose to speak life words over people whenever I am aware and am given the chance to do so. I want to be a giver of life and love to those around me!

How do you react to what I have written above? Leave a one-word or sentence below to let me know!

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk