I have traveled and experienced enough to know that not everyone lives the same as we Americans. One of the big differences is the pace at which we live our lives. During one of our last dinners while in Italy, I was reminded AGAIN of the need for patience.

We were a bit short on time and wanted to explore more of the city of Florence, but needed to grab a bit to eat first. Note the words:  “a bit short on time” and “needed to grab.”

Not a good start.

We ducked into a local cafe and ordered a few dessert items to go, and then decided to eat something more substantial first in their restaurant. We were told to find a seat, and they would bring us our dessert.

We found a nearby table so we could be served fast.  As we settled in, I kept my eye on the waiter, hoping to catch his.

He soon came to our direction, and I was hopeful – until he walked on by without even looking at me.

Huh? What was that about?

I gave him the benefit of the doubt until it happened again and again. THEN I watched as he went over by a buddy, leaned against a counter and chatted a bit.

I felt my irritation rising. What was he doing?

I figured I needed to be a bit more direct so I called out to him the next time he came around and asked if we could get some water. He spoke minimally from a different language of course and shortly came back with two glasses – empty.

I thought: huh? again.

So I went back to waiting, feeling even more fidgety.

By this time I had stories going on in my head… They obviously don’t like foreigners. I must have set him off when I asked for water. He’s really not a very friendly guy. For some reason, he is doing everything he can to avoid me. I don’t think I was that bad to warrant this. What is up with him?

AND THEN…

A very nice young lady came out from the cafe with a glass bottle of cold water, our dessert, and asked what else we would like to eat.

Huh? (yet again!)

I thought the GUY was our waiter!  How did this gal know to bring us everything?

Then I felt like a smuck… Probably none of the stories were true. I had forgotten we were in a different culture, where they do things differently. I was just being impatient. My lack of regard for others and their culture along with my impatience, created a conflict that really didn’t exist – except within me!

I thought… how often does this kind of thing take place in me and really in all of us?

In a very real way, every person I interact with has a culture (think “background”)  that is different than mine. Keeping that in mind and focusing on being patient enables me to push back the “stories in my head” rather than be controlled by them. This along with believing the best in others will go a long way to bring about positive outcomes in our conversations!

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk

How about you? Do you tend to be patient or impatient in conversations?  Leave a comment below!