This week in a PLEDGEtalk training on healthy communication for 35 people, I asked how many of them would say they were quick to listen and slow to speak their mind.  No one raised their hand. I was a bit taken aback. I asked a second and even third time to let them know I really wanted them to answer my question. Still, not a single hand went up in the room.

Now I was stunned!

Not even one person claiming to listen well? All 35 saying they were quick instead to speak?

And we wonder why we can’t connect – why conflict is so rampant in our world today?

When we are not quick to Listen, and instead are fast to speak we will cause a collision every time.  Sometimes the aftermath is very obvious, other times not so much – but make no mistake about it – damage has been done to the relationship, I can promise you that.

It is like driving a car and coming to a four-way intersection where you don’t even slow down to “listen” or pay attention to any other vehicles that are present, but instead hit the accelerator to get through first. Danger awaits when this happens!

I have an intersection just like that right outside my office window, one house down from me. I have heard, witnessed, and seen the aftermath of cars colliding because of one driver speeding through rather than Giving the other a nod – to let them go first.

Scary.

Sad.

And so simple to remedy.

When in conversation, GIVE each other a turn!

It requires that we:

• limit what we say so there is time and space for another to speak. Are we aware of how much we talk? Is everything we want to say necessary to say?
• bite our tongues when we want to jump in while another is talking. Is what we have to say SO important that it warrants interrupting someone and risking a collision in the relationship?
• value what others have to say at least as much as what we have to say if not more. Felt love and respect will be the effect. Damage done will be repaired. Connection will deepen.
• We must Give our ears AND ask to Give our voice – both are needed for communication to create and deepen connection.

What is one takeaway you will chew on from having read this today? Share below!

Mark Oelze, Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk