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3 Important Musts When You are Angry

I have been doing a lot of thinking about anger lately. Maybe it’s because of how often I wrestle with the emotion myself. I also see it frequently in the couples I counsel, as well as in people’s lives in general. And finally, I am sure it is because of hearing our son say on […]

What Do You Do With the Mad?

  It would be a dream job for anyone to have a truly supportive boss, and co-workers where everyone gets along. So often however, that kind of reverie isn’t a reality. More often it is just the opposite. Take Michael for instance, who found himself increasingly angry at his boss, though unsure as to why. […]

PLEDGEtalk – why it is the appetite of our soul!

“It’s not natural…it doesn’t feel authentic.” That’s the kind of remark I hear people say about PLEDGEtalk every once in awhile. And I agree…but only sort of. Here’s what I mean: Most conversations whether they are superficial in nature, serious in content, or conflict driven, could be described as nothing more than volleying. In lighter […]

Here’s What Happens When You Name The Important

A couple weeks back Zerrin and I were in Oshkosh, Wisconsin teaching PLEDGEtalk at Lifest. As I began, I told everyone that what they were about to hear wouldn’t be new. In fact once they heard the PLEDGEtalk principles for healthy communication, they would immediately recognize that what I was saying was true. Truths we […]

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Big Announcement!

Today we are launching PLEDGEtalk, a how-to for when communication really matters! For the past 6 years, Zerrin and I have been teaching the Madly In Love Marriage Conference. Through learning PLEDGE, couples have learned how to communicate well and process conflict in a way that brings them back to love. During our conferences we […]

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Give This Gift To Everyone Around You

Time and again we have heard people say: can we use PLEDGE in any relationship? And we want to shout YES YOU CAN! We have heard of people using it with their children, with their friends, with their parents, in their workplace, and even in politics! Recently I was struck again with the thought that everyone […]

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Using PLEDGE In Your Family

Here is what one of our our recentPLEDGEtalk Live event attendees said when she went home from the and began teaching PLEDGE to her family: “We started implementing this in our marriage, AND with our four young children, right away. My 6 and 7 year olds are already responding positively when they see me do the pause […]

10 Keys To A Peaceful Marriage

If you have been reading my blog for very long at all, it would hardly be a surprise to hear that most of my life I have sought to learn principles to get through conflict in a more productive manner rather than just fighting. As an adult I formed those principles into a conflict resolution process […]

Having The Same Fight Over and Over? Here’s why:

I’m not sure when it really hit me, but there it was: we were having the same conflict again that we did the week before. And the week before that, and even the one before that! What was going on? Why did we keep fighting over the same thing? Being a counselor who is trained […]